Message #4835

[uselesslegs]

I got Walking pneumonia...again (Jokes are to numerous, wheeeeee)...and I was able to take myself to the doc at the first sign of something not being right.  I mean, not right by my personal standards and head this off at the pass.  When it comes to things like this, I can't fuck around and wait until I see full blown symptoms. 

I'm overly aware of how my body (which can be a pain) works, but I've trained myself to do so so I don't get anywhere near deafcon 5 and I address something when my radar goes off.  I'm not a hypochondriac, just ungodly aware.  9 times out of 10, I'm correct in going to see the doctor...which luckily hasn't been a whole lot in the past several years.  I'm relatively healthy given my condition and glad of it.  But I gotta admit...it scares me to know that in the immediate or not to distant future access to my doc may be limited in any number of ways.

I waited one time in my life, until it looked and seemed appropriate to see a doctor...and it almost killed me.  I know this because the doctor, at the time, told me..."Son, I'm gonna be blunt...this is really bad and if there's people you want to see, call them in now.  You can't mess around with MD, why did you wait?"  It was a really good question and I didn't have an answer.  Never again, I told myself...and I was true to my word. 

But now, with vouchers looming and potential cut's to access...I keep thinking, "why might I be punished if I have a bad year or several years health wise...do I not rank as worthy because my level of societal productivity and worth doesn't match some heretofore un-talked about standard that makes me not worth saving?" 

Not a fan.