The Man on a Victory Tour

[Howey]

...Rick Scott.

Will he be visiting a prison to sign the new bill turning our prison system over to profiteers?

Will he be visiting a school to sign the new bill demoralizing teachers who belong to a union?

Will he be visiting another school to sign the new bill stealing teaching funds?

Will he be in front of a nursing home to sign the new bill defunding care for the disabled?

Will he be in front of a health department to sign the new bill cutting 12% of Medicaid?

Will he be in front of an unwanted child to sign the new bill requiring sonograms before an abortion?

Will he be in front of a mom and pop grocery store to sign the new bill cutting corporate taxes for big businesses?

Will he sleep at night?

[Howey]

Bills passed and/or signed by the Governor the past legisladuh session in Floriduh:


BESTIALITY (Passed) Bans, for the first time in Florida, abuse that involves sexual contact with an animal. (HB 125/SB 344) Thank god the sheep of Floriduh are safe! Unwanted kids? Not so much...

 
CONCEALED WEAPONS (Passed) A concealed weapon permit holder who accidentally shows a gun would no longer be subject to penalty. (SB 234) So that crazy guy in the pick up next to you can flash his gun in your face but it's allllllllllll right!
 
DOCTORS AND GUNS (Passed) Limits instances when doctors can ask patients if they own firearms. (SB 155) Dear Bobby: I may be your pediatrician concerned about your health but mommy and daddy can have all the guns laying around the house they want. When you get shot by one...then can I say something?
 
SEXTING (Passed) Decriminalizes sending sexually explicit text messages, photos or videos via cell phone or other electronic devices by minors.(SB 888/HB 75) It's ok to show your hoo ha. After you're raped you have to see a sonogram of the baby before you abort the child. That's responsibility!
 
CHARTER SCHOOLS (Passed) Lifts barriers for charter schools to expand, in part by designating certain schools as “high-performing.” (SB 1546/HB 7195) Coming soon to a storefront near you: The Koch Brothers school of Greedy Capitalism for white boys only paid for by everyone while our real public schools are ignored
 
CLASS SIZE (Passed) Changes the definition of the educational core curriculum, reducing the number of courses that must meet class-size caps. (SB 2120/HB 5101) Translated: Fuck you citizens of Floriduh! We don't care if there's a 100 kids in that classroom!
 
EDUCATIONAL ACCOUNTABILITY (Passed) Catch-all bill that, among other things, limits gifts to school board members and their relatives to $50. (SB 1696/HB 1255) Saves the money for the lobbyists to buy more for the state legislators, yo!

SAGGY PANTS (Passed) Requires school boards to prohibit students from wearing clothes that show their underwear or body parts. (HB 61/SB 228) Of course! We don't want those bare butts rubbing up against each other in those 100-student classrooms! Just take a pic of your bare ass and send it to that chick. Sexting's legal now!
 
SCHOOL VOUCHERS — OPPORTUNITY SCHOLARSHIPS (Passed) Allows more students to qualify to move to other public schools by expanding the definition of a “failing” school. (SB 1822/HB 1331) Translated: We'll help you get your rich white kids outta those colored schools!
 
TEACHER TENURE (Signed into law) Teacher evaluations will be based in part on student test scores, and administrators will be able to more easily fire teachers with weak evaluations. (SB 736/HB 7019) Translated: If you belong to a union, we're a gonna fire you! Added translation: We don't care if mommy and daddy aren't teaching the kids about life, that's your job now you worthless piece of shit teachers!
 
VIRTUAL SCHOOLS (Passed) Expands online school offerings by allowing more students to enroll in virtual school and letting private companies participate in online education. Requires incoming high school students take at least one online course before graduating. (SB 1620/HB 7197) Now that the Koch Brothers have bought our public colleges, let's sell them our public schools too!
 
CITIZEN CHALLENGES (Passed) Reverses state’s “burden of proof” requirement that potential polluters show their project won’t contaminate air or water. Replaces it with requirement that citizens and other challengers provide proof that project will harm air or water. (HB 993/SB 1382) Yeah...cuz those citizens have all the resources to provide such proof! 
 
GROWTH MANAGEMENT (Passed) Shifts review and regulation for development from the state to local governments with repeal of 1985 Growth Management Act. (HB 7207) For sale: Floriduh

BLIND TRUSTS (Failed) Requires the governor, lieutenant governor and three Cabinet members to place their personal assets into blind trusts. (SB 86) How dare you want to keep our elected officials accountable!

ELECTIONS (Passed) Reduces days of early voting from 14 to eight, requires some voters who have moved to cast provisional ballots, tightens the time for third-party groups to submit voter registration forms and reduces the time that signatures on citizen-led ballot initiatives are valid. (SB 2086/HB 1355) Are you poor? Are you old? Are you disabled? Are you a college student? Did you just move? In other words, are you a Democrat? Good. You can't vote!


GOVERNMENT PENSIONS (Passed) Local government employees face new limits on sick leave and overtime under a compromise plan. (SB 1128/HB 7241) *Unless you're appointed by the Governor
 
GUN CONTROL (Passed) Prohibits local governments from regulating firearms. (HB 45) Woo Hoo! Welcome to the Wild, wild, west!
 
PENSION REFORM (Passed) Employees in the Florida Retirement System will pay three percent of their salaries into their retirement accounts, face higher retirement ages and their retirement accounts will no longer collect cost-of-living-adjustment starting July 1. (SB 2100, HB 1405) *Unless you're appointed by the Governor

ABORTION — CHOOSE LIFE (Passed) Proceeds from Choose Life license plates will go to Choose Life, Inc., to assist pregnant women, instead of counties. (SB 196/HB 501) Purpose Statement of Choose Life, Inc: To promote the Choose Life life plate whose proceeds would be used to facilitate and encourage adoption as a positive choice for women with unplanned pregnancies. Unless you're one of them homersexuals we don't want you adoptin no kids!
 
ABORTION — HEALTH CARE EXCHANGES (Passed) Health care plans created through the federal health care law cannot offer coverage for abortions. (SB 1414/HB 97) Ummm...they already don't. But they don't call you the legisladuh for nothin', huh?
 
ABORTION — PARENTAL NOTIFICATION (Passed) Requires minors seeking a judicial waiver for parental notification of an abortion to get the waiver in district court rather than a wider-reaching appeals court. (SB 1770/HB 1247) Can you see the lines of pregnant 15 year olds lined up in the court house paying for a judicia waiver for parental notification of their abortion? Yeah. I don't either.  Of course, there's lots of folks out there wanting to adopt your bastard child unless they're one of them homersexuals we don't want dem adoptin no kids! They'll turn em queer!

ABORTION — ULTRASOUND (Passed) Women preparing to undergo an abortion must be offered the opportunity to have the results and images of an ultrasound explained to them. Woman can decline to see the image. (SB 1744/HB 1127) Who's paying the $200 bill for the office visit? 

MEDICAID (Passed) peforms place the program’s three million recipients into managed care. HMOs and other large, managed-care networks will bid with the state on managing any number of 11 regions in state. Also makes it more difficult for recipients to sue Medicaid doctors and hospitals. (SB 1972/HB 7107, 7109) Good news from 2014! There are only 22,453 sick poor people in Floriduh under Medicaid! All the others died from lack of care and compassion!

[Howey]

From the We Hate Veterans File (They're the 2012 version of Floriduh's teachers):

COLLEGE CHOICE (Failed)
 
Allows veterans who lived in Florida four years before entering the armed forces to be admitted to any state bachelor’s program of their choice. (SB 894/HB 693)
 
DRIVER’S LICENSE FEES (Failed)
 
Reduces driver’s license fees for certain disabled veterans. (SB 368/HB 123)

TUITION (Failed)
 
Gives any veteran in the country the in-state tuition rate to attend one of Florida’s colleges or universities. (SB 826/683)
 
VETERANS COURT (Failed)
 
Allows counties to develop jail-diversion programs for veterans charged with certain crimes as a result of traumatic brain injury, post-traumatic stress disorder or substance use stemming from military combat. (SB 138)
 
VETERANS DAY (Failed)
 
Requires schools to observe Veterans Day as a holiday and not hold classes. (SB 1062/HB 375)

[Howey]

Bonus from the We Hate Poor People File!

DRUG TESTS FOR WELFARE RECIPIENTS (Passed)
 
Requires drug screening for adult welfare recipients, who will lose benefits for a year if they test positive. (HB 353)

UNEMPLOYMENT COMPENSATION (Passed)
 
Pays for a tax cut for businesses by cutting state benefits for unemployed Floridians. Instead of making the maximum $275 weekly benefit available for 26 weeks, the state would use a sliding scale based on the unemployment rate. Benefits would be available for no more than 23 weeks and no less than 12 weeks. (HB 7005)
 

The following must be approved by the people by amendment the next election cycle. That is, those who are still eligible to vote (Republicans, der...)
 
COURT REVAMP (Passed) Lets Senate confirm new justices and makes it easier for the Legislature to void court rules. Also gives House access to now-confidential investigations of judicial misconduct in advance of impeachment proceedings. (HJR 7111) Translated: Allows the Governor to do what he wants.
 
FUNDING FOR RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS (Passed)
 
Does away with provision prohibiting the use of public money for religious institutions and adds language prohibiting the government from denying funding based on religion. (SJR 1218/HJR 1471) Here's comes the Koch Brothers Parochial School of Greed and Hatred of Anything Gay
 
INSURANCE MANDATES (Passed)
 
Prohibits government from compelling someone to buy health insurance. (SJR 2/HJR1) Not to be confused with State mandates to view an ultrasound before an abortion, getting parental notification of an abortion, wearing baggy pants in school, and so on...
 

[ekg]

I don't know what to say.

I am glad many of those laws do not affect me and I'm horrified for the ones who are affected.

how did this happen?

[Howey]

I don't know what to say.

I am glad many of those laws do not affect me and I'm horrified for the ones who are affected.

how did this happen?

I'm not done yet...This is the scariest of them all:

http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/news_politics/2011/03/house-republicans-bring-back-a-golden-oldie-leadership-funds.html

The Florida Legislature voted Thursday to revive so-called “leadership funds” that will let future legislative leaders dig deeper into the pockets of industry groups and lobbyists and spend those dollars more directly on campaigns.
 
The bill, HB 1207, was vetoed last year by former Gov. Charlie Crist, who said Florida’s history of political corruption before the funds were outlawed in 1989 had allowed “legislative leaders to solicit and accept campaign contributions during the legislative session from lobbyists and interest groups outside the public view.”
 
But with breakneck speed, House and Senate leaders decided last week to revisit the issue and overturn the veto. Republicans said the change would shine more light on the gobs of money that legislative leaders have to raise presently through the state parties.
 
Right now, lawmakers can only raise $500 per contributor for their campaigns, but political parties don’t have the same limits.
 
Legislative leaders routinely are tasked with fundraising for the party, and more than one-third of the 160 lawmakers in the Legislature already have set up individual committees that can accept virtually unlimited amounts of money from lobbyists, corporations and industry groups. But state law prohibits spending those dollars directly on campaigns, so they’re used to pay for everything from meals to lawyers, consultants, mail and other political expenses.
 
“This is something new. This is not a revival of the past,” said House Majority Leader Carlos Lopez-Cantera, R-Miami, who accused Democratic critics of trying to live in the “shadows.”
 
But Democrats said it would make it easier for powerful politicians with control over the legislative agendas in Tallahassee to command giant checks from interest-groups.

[ekg]

Bills passed and/or signed by the Governor the past legisladuh session in Floriduh:


BESTIALITY (Passed) Bans, for the first time in Florida, abuse that involves sexual contact with an animal. (HB 125/SB 344) Thank god the sheep of Floriduh are safe! Unwanted kids? Not so much...

 

hehe..

Florida Senate fails basic biology, accidentally outlaws sex.
http://www.southernfriedscience.com/?p=10369

So if you’re living in Florida on October 1, 2011 and would like to have sexual intercourse with a consenting adult, please check with your veterinarian or local livestock breeder first to make sure you abide by  ”accepted animal husbandry practices, conformation judging practices, or accepted veterinary medical practices.”

LOL

[Howey]

hehe..

Florida Senate fails basic biology, accidentally outlaws sex.
http://www.southernfriedscience.com/?p=10369

LOL

tee hee